"Hiya everyone. My name is Kia Araneidae. Aren't I just the cutest little Jorogumo you ever did see? Tell me you love this cute human face. Yay! NoW TeLL mE tHaT yOu LoVe tHiS sPiDeR fAcE! I'm a beautiful monster aren't I? You don't mind that now do you? It'll be our little secret."
"I hope you enjoy wearing me on your shirt to show that you have a little dangerous side underneath as well!"